Weekly Meeting Topic: Strategies for Staying Motivated through the Holidays

While it's true that the 'big holiday season' will soon be upon us, it's obviously important to be motivated all the time. So while the holidays may present an extra challenge, keep these things in mind year round because they always apply:

1- Set realistic goals. This is so important because if you set unrealistic goals, you set yourself up to be disappointed, and that often leads to quitting. This is why my weekly goals are never number related. They're activity and behavior related - because those are things that are completely within my control. I like to remind you as often as possible that other than your final weight goal, do not focus on weekly weight goals. You CANNOT control the scale. Focus on your behaviors. You CAN control those, and reaching those goals is completely attainable and so personally satisfying. In time, those behaviors will make a difference that you see on the scale. (My leader said something great tonight regarding the number on the scale - she said be LOGICAL and not EMOTIONAL about that number. Kudos, Karen!)

2- Keep it in perspective. If you do something you are less than proud of, or that you didn't intend to do, don't beat yourself down with negative self talking. Stop and think about the situation, think about how you would have reacted in that situation *before* your journey, think about the incident in the scheme of your whole day or whole week; keep it in perspective and you will likely realize it is insignificant. But the trick is to recognize all of that as soon as possible, put it behind you and move on making healthy choices again.

3- Continue Tracking. Great advice for everyday and this can definitely help keep you on track during the holidays!

4- Attend Weekly Meetings (or whatever you rely on for support - friends, blogs, etc). I have said this before too - I know meetings are not for everyone, but I love them. I know I would not have been this successful without them and I genuinely look forward to them. In the 3+ years I have been going to WW now continuously, I've missed very few meetings.

5- Be Patient. Remember that you didn't gain the weight overnight and you didn't develop terrible habits overnight, so you are not going to lose it overnight or undo all of those habits that quickly. It's not a race. Give yourself time to change.

6- Remind yourself of your motivations daily. I love this idea. I think it's so important to remember all the reasons why you want to lose weight and get healthier. You might be motivated by your old clothing you outgrew, or a specific event, or to be able to do something physical you haven't done in a while. At this point in my journey, I am motivated by the idea of being healthier, stronger, faster and yes, looking great :)


Now for my weekly questions-

What did I accomplish this week?

Unfortunately not much. I was sick for most of last week and still tend to throw a pity party for myself and treat myself with food when I'm in that condition. I realize I'm doing it, and I psychologically I know why, but I still do it - I know my body wants to feel "good" so it looks for pleasurable foods to make me feel "good", even though that's not the "good" I want to feel. All I wanted was to feel well and I'm so thankful I finally do!

• I managed to not eat a single piece of Halloween Candy. Granted, since cutting out artificial ingredients earlier this year and being on my way to Vegan, it rules a lot of candy out but this is still such a huge accomplishment for me considering what a significant role candy played in my life and in me getting to 208 pounds.
  
• I purchased the Wii Fit Plus! Thank you all so much for your help with that! (Especially Screw Destiny. You are a patient woman!) It has not arrived yet, but I'm looking forward to it!
  
• And tonight, with a rebate I received from my contact lenses, I treated myself to a gorgeous new pair of Nike + sneakers which are great for running *and* will work with my iPod!
  

What do I want to work towards next week?

• I will get back on track food wise and journal again - at least 4 days.
• TWIET (Tweet What I Eat Tuesday!)
• Set up and RUN in my new sneakers (I can hardly wait!)
• Incorporate more iron rich green leafy vegetables (I tried to give blood last night but my hemoglobin was just shy of the 12.5 minimum again. It was 12.4!)
• Starting on Monday, get back to the gym with William (we haven't been there in two weeks due to work being crazy and me being sick). We will go Mon, Thurs & Fri.
  
• As for the rest of my workouts, I want to get back on track with them too: Tuesday I will do the stairs, Weds is Punk Rope, Sat is Total Body Conditioning and Pilates.
• I will make an appointment with my general doctor for a physical. I want to get all my blood work done. It's been over 2 years since I did that.
  

Note: I am working crazy hours the next few days through Sunday so I may not be able to blog again until Monday.

Have a great week everyone!

Success is the confidence to wear a bodysuit in public

This may seem completely gratuitous and in one sense it is, however I am pretty proud of myself. I think it not only shows how far I've come physically, but also mentally. I'm considering this a non-scale victory.

I was invited to a Halloween party last weekend and one thing I hate is having to wear a costume. I had no inspiration about what to wear, so I just went to a giant Halloween store in Manhattan determined to buy *something*.

I was drawn to the flapper costumes (no surprise there, but I already dress 'retro') and the Statue of Liberty (something I always wanted to be, but hate the idea of looking like I'm wearing a mumu), or Wonder Woman (but her dress was too short). Getting frustrated, it then hit me: I want to wear a bodysuit!

Now you may not realize this, but I never wear pants. That's because since around age 9 when my thighs started filling out, buying pants has been a very traumatic experience and by age 14 I stopped wearing pants all together. To this day, I can never find pants that fit me correctly (small waist, big thighs and ass, short legs). And despite my weight loss success, that's still the body part/area I'm most self conscious of and I am very particular about how I dress it.

I don't know what suddenly possessed me to embrace my least favorite part, but I was so excited about my decision. I've worked on my body so much and despite the fact that it's not my "dream body", I'm so proud of what I accomplished so far. And I was ready and comfortable with the idea of wearing a bodysuit in public!

So I found the superhero section and grabbed a Catwoman suit. One size fits all. And for the first time in my life, I realized that "one size fits all" might be too BIG for me, instead of too small.

I brought it home and tried it on. It was more than roomy. In fact, it would have fit the old me (with the extra 50 pounds). But I wanted it super tight, so I did a haphazard job sewing it, making it smaller everywhere - the arms, the legs, the sides and back. And it worked! It was so tight, I could hardly get it on. And that was exactly how I wanted it to fit.

Here I am before I left the house for the party -

I think I look adorable here! I love that straight line down the left side of my back to the curve around my ass!

This picture blew my mind though - I honestly can't believe how *small* (stop laughing) and, well, nicely shaped my ass looks here! I thought it was MUCH bigger than this!

I even think I look pretty good in this bent over position! (Hoegaarden, where are you?!)

and other than having to pull up the crotch of the bodysuit in this shot, I am very pleased with how the suit looks!

So that's something I never thought would happen - me not only wearing a bodysuit in public but feeling super hot in it. I love it so much, I want to wear it to work. In fact, I have a good feeling Catwoman will be commuting through Grand Central Terminal this Friday. Meow!


PS! Re: the Wii Fit - if some of you can chime in - is this the right Wii I need to buy? I want to make sure I am getting the right console/set. Thanks again for your input!

Biggest Loser: I finally <3 Jillian

Sadly, I did not make my meeting tonight because I am home sick. (I am going to see if I can make it to another meeting later in the week, so hopefully I can do a weekly meeting recap blog.) I can't remember the last time I was this sick. I feel so terrible that I haven't even left my apartment for about 36 hours now. Since I've been trapped at home, I've only had the energy to sleep, eat and watch TV, so I am caught up on my DVR stuff and watched The Biggest Loser tonight. And I'm inspired to talk about Jillian.

In every past season, I disliked her. I always thought she was just a bitch and wondered "Why is she so mean to everyone?!" But I see her in a very different light this season. And I do not think it's because she changed; I think it's because I changed. Now I see what she's doing and what her intentions are - she gets into their heads to help them uncover the deeper seeded issues of what got them to the condition they were in when they appeared on the ranch. She talks to them in a way that pushes them further and makes them realize that THEY are holding themselves back, that THEY need to change their thinking, that THEY need to do this for them.

I love watching those break through moments!

She summed up that process perfectly tonight when she spoke directly to the camera:

"What I'm trying to do is create an unfortunate situation that pushes them out of their comfort zone, that makes them uncomfortable, that triggers all their issues so they learn how to manage it in a safe, controlled environment where I can create a positive outcome because when it happens in the real world, they'll know what to do instead of folding."

She continued to try to get through to Amanda while she was on the treadmill, telling her:

"Why are you so attached to being a failure? Why don't you change your mind today... You want to fail. You don't want to succeed... What are you getting out of it?... You are not failing here, you quit. There is a difference between quitting and failing... It's going to require some courage, it's going to require a little bit of bravery. It doesn't mean you're going to be fearless... Step on the treadmill and make it count... You make it happen. You don't wait for life to happen. You make it happen."

Amanda did quit the treadmill and left the gym, crying, after all of that. I really wanted to see the lightbulb go off in her head and see her get back on the treadmill but she wasn't ready for it.

Then later in the episode, Jillian said to Amanda:

"You have to redefine your view of failure. It's not failure, it's a learning process. You gotta fall down a few times you gotta make a few mistakes in order to learn. It's how you grow. Think about it."

Bravo! I could not agree more!

But Jillian is not always a bitch to them, she knows when to be compassionate - she shifted gears and talked Shay through her own breakthrough about what made her morbidly obese, and the root of her issue - her heroin addicted mother who didn't love her. It was emotional and powerful and in the long run, I think it helped Shay. She also talked to Abby very gently about her personal tragedy of losing her husband and children. So she's not a bitch like I thought, she knows what she's doing.

It was tonight I realized that it's official: I am a fan of Jillian and her tough love approach. I often hear her in my head when I'm doing something at the gym. Although I've never met her or trained with her, her voice and words motivate me when I need them. Thank you, Jillian.

Speaking of The Biggest Loser, I saw during one of the commercial breaks that there is a BL game for the Wii Fit. I had been considering buying this for a while but now I'm even more excited about the idea. So it's feedback time - Do any of you have the Wii Fit? Love it/hate it/want to share your opinions? Let me know. More than likely, I will get it regardless but I'd love to hear what you have to say.

Thank you and have a great week!

Review: Polar F4 Heart Rate Monitor

I mentioned recently that I finally picked up a heart rate monitor. I didn't get anything super fancy. I went with the Polar F4, for under 100 dollars. (Not that the color matters, I but I picked up the one in red berry.) The way it works is there's a strap that you put around the most upper part of your rib cage, and a watch that you wear on your wrist. When activated, the watch is used like a stopwatch and communicates with the band around your chest. From the time you press start to the time you press stop, it gives you a summary of your total minutes, the number of those minutes that you're in the fat burning/cardio zone, your average heart rate, your high heart rate and your total calories burned.

I've been wearing it almost every day to gather data for random activities. Of course I've been keeping track of my stats in Excel to get an idea of how may calories different activities burn (I highlighted a few of my recurring activities):

It's not included in that chart, but for a comparison, I also recorded my stats for 1 hour of working - where I was sitting for a full 60 minutes. Doing basically nothing except using my hands and brain at the computer, I burned just over 100 calories. I thought that was interesting because I can see how much more I burn by actually doing an activity compared to if I did nothing.

After reviewing this data, what surprised me most is that bike riding is actually a cardio activity. I really never thought of biking as exercise, much less cardio, so I was shocked by how many calories it burn. What also surprised me is that just getting from my apartment to Grand Central Terminal every morning burns approx 200 calories and my average heart rate is usually in the cardio zone!

Another good thing I noticed is that when I wear it to the gym, any of the cardio machines (treadmills/elipticals/cross trainer/arc trainer, etc) actually somehow know that you're wearing a HRM and display your heart rate right on the machine (without having to hold onto their heart rate sensors). I have found the HR number on the machine matches the HR number on the watch +/- 2 beats per min. But I noticed that the calories burned that display on the machine are always significantly higher (about 25%-35%) than the calories burned on the heart rate monitor. I don't understand the reasoning for this since my age and weight entered in both machines are the same. And I'm not sure which is more accurate - the heart rate monitor or the cardio machine.

All that being said, this is a pretty low end heart rate monitor but it's perfect for my needs and I'm happy with it. Of course, if you're looking for something fancier, there are tons more to choose from.

Weekly Meeting Topic: Eating Healthier the Easier Way

At tonight's meeting, the leader asked us if, during our journey, we have had days where we ate all of our points but were still hungry. Not surprisingly, everyone could relate. The leader (who I adore - Karen, you are awesome!) asked us to think about what we were eating on those days - days when use all of our points but are still hungry; not mental hunger or palette hunger, but real physical hunger.

I have definitely been there and I knew immediately what she was getting at: the type and nutritional quality of food you consume is so much more important than you may realize. It was something I didn't know and would not have believed until I experienced it for myself.

I remember when I first joined, for the first year and a half, I lost my weight eating the same things I always ate - a lot of junk food and processed food - just less of it. Yes, you can lose weight that way because in the end, it's about calories in vs calories out.

However, not only is that not healthy, but I do not think that is sustainable long term. I think it worked for me when I had a lot of weight to lose because I could still eat a bunch of junk food along with the good stuff and managed to burn more calories than I used. But the fact is that the more you lose, and the closer you get to goal, you have to consume less food if you want to continue to lose weight. At that point, you don't have a lot of wiggle room anymore. Those calories (points) become so much more important and you should be more careful about what you eat. You should question what you are eating, why you are eating it and make adjustments that you are comfortable with and ready for. (The sooner you do this, the better, it took me a while to get to this point though.)

Even if I had heard this concept, I hadn't embraced it until I tried the Core version of the plan. Prior to that, I was on Flex and just concentrated on spending my points. I didn't give much thought to what I was spending them ON. A majority of my points were spent on things like junk food snacks, frozen high sodium meals, sugar free/fat free processed food - basically a ton of garbage and chemicals. Being on Core forced me to think about a whole new approach to eating - consuming actual, real food! Crazy concept, huh?

After just days on that plan I could not believe how different I felt. That's when the lightbulb went off. I noticed almost instantly how real food satisfied me so much more than the garbage I had been eating before then. It was like an "a-ha" and a "duh" moment at the same time.

And while it wasn't immediate, that first revelation I had as a result of eating real food caused me to have many more, leading me to the significant changes I made this year - first banning artificial ingredients (including the many seemingly healthy foods that contain them), and now my transition to Veganism.

For me, I can now look back and see that Core was a critical turning point because it made me reexamine what I was eating and *why* I was eating it, which caused me to say "Enough is enough. There are certain things I am not willing to put into my body anymore." This is huge - and it's just another reason why I try to remind you all the time - it's not all about the scale. This is such a mental journey. It's about the changes in your mind that lead to the changes in your actions. The scale will catch up to that eventually, but I think it's so much more important to be aware of what you are doing and why.

Lastly, remember that everyone has a different journey and this is not a race. Take your time and learn. Evolve. Have your own epiphanies, and make your changes. I think that's the secret to long term success.

Now for my weekly questions-

What did I accomplish this week?

• I tracked, but only for 2.5 days. This is less than my goal of 5 days, but it's more than none!
• A co-worker put a Baby Ruth candy bar on my desk. My instinct was to grab it and open it, but I stopped myself and reminded myself that I don't eat artificial ingredients anymore (I'm sure there are some in there, I didn't even bother looking). I thought about the whole exchange and realized that I wasn't even tempted by the taste, it was more just an immediate reaction to open and devour it. But I did not. I gave it to another coworker and didn't think about it again.
  
• Someone else at work offered me candy corn. (You may not know this but I am a former junk food junky and this was one of my favorite candies. I'd eat a pound at a time, and not just at Halloween.) I politely declined. When she offered again, I told her that I do not eat artificial ingredients. I even told her I was a former chemical candy junky, but haven't had any candy since March. She seemed amazed by that, and asked if I craved it. I told her that that was the most surprising thing - since cutting it out, I have not craved it once. I can now see candy and not feel like I'm going to die if I don't eat it. As opposed to before, when I tried to consume it in moderation, I would have to fight with myself to not eat it. But now I don't have that horrible internal struggle because I don't even want it. This, by far, is one of my biggest achievements to date. I never thought this day would come or would even be possible, but it's such a relief to not be tortured by thoughts of candy anymore!
  
• I had a box of Kashi bars in my office that I knew weren't "safe". So a few weeks ago, I brought them into my co-worker's office and explained that I was leaving them there for safe keeping. I did this because I knew that if they were too easily accessible and no one could see me eat them, I would eat them way too fast. But having to go into someone else's office, where they would SEE what I was doing was enough to prevent me from eating them at an unhealthy rate. It worked. Most of them are still there.
• I bought the B-12 and have remembered to take my vitamins 5/7 days.
  
• I ran on the treadmill yesterday and my goal was to do 2 miles in 25 minutes. I did intervals of 90 seconds at 3.8 miles (walking) and 5.8 miles (running) and I DID IT! I finished with 2.01 miles in 25 minutes. That's my new record (12.5 minute mile)! It was amazing!!!
  

What do I want to work towards next week?

• Expect to see this one for a while because it's that important: I want to track at least 5 days.
• I am going to a Halloween party this weekend. In order to be successful, I will eat wisely before I go, plan out my alcohol points and bring my healthy snacks.
• I want to start drinking hot water with lemon. Someone mentioned it in tonight's meeting and it sounds fantastic. I'm going to try it in the mornings and maybe I can even ween myself off coffee!

I'll close this out with the quote that was on the board tonight, which I liked - "Make the decision then do something - no matter how big or small - toward accomplishing what you want." (no source was listed)

Have a great week, everyone!


And since a few of you asked, this is the heart rate monitor I bought. I plan to do a full blog on it in the near future, but you can check it out there in the meantime.

How and why I started working out after 35 years of Slothfulness

If you're familiar with this blog or know me in real life, you likely know that I spent the first 35 years of my life being totally sedentary and truly, embarrassingly lazy. I still get asked by people what made me start working out. To see where I am today, I feel, is nothing short of amazing. But how did I get here? It started in my head, in my thoughts. While I have blogged about it a few times (see here, here, here, and here), I want to address it again and include some insight and perspective that I acquired along the way.

It's so easy to coast through life, living every day without giving what you're doing much thought, telling yourself "I'll do xy or z someday"; but unless you stop and think about where you are and what you are doing and where you want to go, you'll miss out and wonder where the time went - years will go by and those things will never happen.

Something in me woke up when I was turning 35. It was like a cold slap in the face. I asked myself why I was living in a way that upset me so much - I hated my body. I hated how I looked and I hated the way I felt about myself and my life. In short, I hated myself.

But I realized that I was responsible for how I looked and felt. I had become the sum of my poor food and activity choices, which the world could see no matter how hard I tried to hide them. I knew that unless I did something about them, I was going to continue to live that way, or possibly even worse. I reluctantly accepted that I wasn't going to wake up one day and be happy with my appearance or myself, I had to work on it. I had to make a commitment to change. Because if I had made the choices that brought myself to that point of despair, depression and self loathing, surely I could make different choices that would lead me in the other direction.

Being close to 200 pounds and desperate to lose weight, I joined the YMCA in September 2006. I didn't have any expectations at that time either - I didn't expect to keep my membership for very long and I certainly didn't think I would ultimately change my body, my attitude towards activity or my life overall. But that's exactly what happened. (And I still say it's one of, if not THE best decisions I ever made in my life.) And there were two basic trains of thought that jolted me from the couch and got me to the gym: 1) Appreciating my body and 2) Facing my own mortality.

1) APPRECIATING MY BODY:
There are people who are born with physical limitations, and people who later develop limitations, whether through accident or illness. I tried to imagine how horrible it must be to know that your body is physically incapable of doing certain things and how difficult it must be to accept that fate. Yet here I was with a perfectly able body that was just being wasted and neglected - a body that was fully functional but not being used to its potential, if at all. I felt guilt and shame for taking that for granted when I knew there were people that would probably do anything in their power for the chance to do something as simple as walk.

2) FACING MY MORTALITY:
I also thought about the fact that I'm not going to live forever, I'm not going to get another chance to be the age I am now, and this is not a dress rehearsal: I am never going to live this life again. I have one chance to make my life as awesome as possible, and I was tired of throwing it all away, taking it for granted, and making myself miserable in the process. I will be dead one day. Who knows when? It could happen tomorrow. I better enjoy what precious little time I have here! I had already missed out on my entire youth (grade school, teens, 20's, half my 30's) being fat and unhappy and I knew that I did not want to live like that anymore. I realized that I had a chance to take back my life, that no one could do it for me, and that the only one stopping me was me. If I wanted to enjoy whatever youth I had left, and the rest of my time on this planet, I needed to change. Immediately.

While those thoughts may be a little intense for some people to wrap their heads around, it was those precise lines of reasoning that got me to join the gym. But unfortunately, joining is not enough, you need to actually attend and move :). And if you're wondering, yes, it was difficult at first. When I initially started working out, I did not like it at all. I was so out of shape that any little thing I did was exhausting. I was embarrassed about how I looked and self conscious about how quickly I would get out of breath and have to stop. But I continued doing it because I felt like it was my last chance to get the life I wanted. I *had* to do it, so I did it. And after not too long (about 10 weeks), I *wanted* to do it and looked forward to it. That brings me to where I am today...

Recently I had a very scary moment that made me appreciate my body all over again - days before the Century Bike Tour, while I was in punk rope class, I had an incredibly sharp pain in my ankle. The pain was so intense, I had to stop immediately. I tried cracking my ankle and stretching, then jumping again, but it still hurt too badly. I had to finish the rest of the class putting most of my body weight on the other leg. Because my jumping was compromised that way, it meant I couldn't do the crosses, double jumps and other fancy moves that I love doing. This was greatly upsetting to me. I hated being limited in that manner. And when it came time to do the relay, I realized I could not participate because I could not run. After years of avoiding running because I hated it, I suddenly wanted to run, but I could not. My body would not allow it.

I was so overcome with emotion at that moment that I left class and began to cry in the hallway. I thought "What if there is something seriously wrong? What if I will never be able to jump rope or run again?!" It was a really scary feeling. The thought frightened and frustrated me but simultaneously I was amazed at what it meant: I was actually upset that I couldn't run! I never thought the day would come when I would be upset by that, but I was beyond upset. I was terrified. I never wanted to run more than I did at that moment - when I feared the option to do so had been taken away from me forever.

Standing in the hallway, I realized it was another significant moment for me - I reminded myself that I can not and would not take my body for granted. I still didn't know what was wrong but I wanted to believe that my injury was temporary and that soon I would be able to run and jump again. And when I was able to, I would remember how I felt at the time that I couldn't use my body, and I would be motivated by that experience.

And I did just that!

Within a few days I was back to normal (I think I just didn't warm up and stretch properly that night) and at the first opportunity, I got back on the treadmill to run - because I COULD. It was exhilarating! I used the memory of how scared I was that I might not ever be able to run again, and pushed myself a little bit harder - because I could. At that moment, I was so grateful to be able to run. I've used that memory in other classes since then too, reminding myself to push myself a little harder and do what I can *while* I can.

So whether you have never worked out or if you have been slacking off in the activity department, keep all of that in mind. You're not guaranteed anything in life. You're lucky to be alive and fortunate enough to do whatever it is you are capable of doing. But any of that can be taken away at any moment, so don't regret what you should have done when you had the opportunity. Do it now, while you can. Enjoy your body and the amazing things it can do. You'll probably even surprise yourself by what you are able to do - things you never thought possible. Things like riding a bike through 5 boros in the rain, or riding a bike for 70 miles or doing a 5K. As I like to remind myself often, "The only thing stopping me is me". Don't stop yourself. Anything's possible. The choice is yours. Do it... while you can.




On an unrelated note, I'd like to thank Amber for including this blog in her list of 50 Excellent Women's Health and Beauty Blogs. Check out her list, you may find more blogs that you enjoy. (Thanks, Amber!)

Weekly Meeting Topic: Taking Care of Yourself

Tonight we talked about why it's so important to take care of yourself in relation to your journey. There are so many ways and so many opportunities you get every day where you can take care of yourself. Here are just a few:

1. Make time to exercise: this may involve getting creative with your activity and/or sneaking it in if you are pressed for time, but remember - even 5 minutes is better than no minutes.
2. Preparing and controlling your environment: making shoppings lists, going shopping, having the right foods/tools in the house sets you up to be successful.
3. Being assertive: telling people what you need and want from them (family, friends, co-workers, waiters, etc). Do not back down. Let them know what you need and that you're serious about it.
   
4. Get enough sleep: When you're tired, don't eat to try to stay awake - it never works and you end up going to bed anyway, with extra calories consumed. Just go to sleep, your body will thank you and you'll be fresher the next day.
   

Now, I love whenever we mention this topic. Mostly because I have no problem doing any of these things and like any chance to remind people to make themselves a priority.

Back when I had my original leader in Brooklyn, she would always ask me to speak when this topic came up - just because I seemed to be the only person in the meeting that had no problem putting myself first, and I was more than glad to expound the greatness of living this way.

Maybe it's because I have the luxury of not having to take care of anyone else in my life, or maybe it's just because I'm selfish by nature, but I have no problem putting myself first, being assertive and doing what I know is best for me.

Anyone who knows me in real life will tell you that I do not respond to guilt or pressure from outside sources. In fact, If I have a struggle, it's internal. I don't let other people have that power over me.

So when I do not want to do something, I say no at the risk of someone else's feelings. I am as polite about it as possible, but I still decline because I know that in the long run, I need to do what's best for me, not what other people want.

If I know a experience will be challenging, I think about if it's really worth it to me before I agree to do it. If I have any control over the event/situation, I grab it (bring my own food, suggest a different place, show up late so I miss the meal, etc). I really believe in putting yourself first, regardless of the situation - food or otherwise. I think most people have a problem doing this, but I like to remind them that by taking care of yourself, you are then better equipped to take care of others.

So if you are not used to this concept, try to embrace it - Make yourself a priority, and do what you need to do to take care of yourself. You will be better off for it ad everyone around you will benefit from a better you.

At the end of the meeting, the leader shared a quote with us which I really liked - "To eat is a necessity but to eat intelligently is an art." (There was no source listed) I think that's fantastic!

Now for my weekly questions-

What did I accomplish this week?

• Tracking: I wanted to track at least 5 days, I only did 3. I have no excuse. I just need to be more diligent and get better with it. Consistency is so important, and I know that.
• 5K: I completed my first 5K on Sunday (I earned a bravo sticker for it at the meeting tonight)

What do I want to work towards next week?

• Tracking: I will track 5 days if it kills me!
• Getting my hemoglobin up: I tried to donate blood yesterday but was shy of the 12.5 minimum hemoglobin reading (I had 12.3), so I am going to be extra diligent about taking my vitamins. I also picked up B-12 which I learned is something all vegans need. I'm also going to make sure I eat more dark leafy greens than normal and have a return appointment in 2 weeks.

And just for fun, here is a photo of me at work today with my dear officemate, William (aka Sour Balls) and Joe G. How cute are they? This was right before William and I did the stairs today (40 flights)-

I love those boys.

Have a great week, everyone!

Fitness Adventures: My First 5K

Yesterday was a day for the history books, dear blog readers. For, I not only officially became a "runner" (my punk rope instructor said so), but Elaine and I made the leap from Athlete (stop laughing) to Bi-Athlete. That's right. Yesterday, we completed a biathlon! (Sadly, this is a real word, Lainy thought she made it up) Let me explain...

As most of you know, yesterday was my first 5K, "Get to the 'Point!" (a clever play on an expression, combined with an abbreviated version of my neighborhood, Greenpoint). It was a local run through the neighborhood that I live in, to raise money for St Stan's Athletic League (I think they use the money to provide kids with sporting equipment or pay for activities for them).

First I'll tell you the story, then I'll show the photos.

It was a beautiful day, sunny and a little chilly. I loved that it started at 1:00pm. (That meant I didn't have to wake up at 5:30am like I do for the bike tours.) I headed over shortly after noon, checked in, collected my goody bag and found my 5K partner and one of my favorite people in the world, my pal Lainy.

We warmed up a little and when the run began, we started with a nice paced jog. My plan was to jog/run as much as I could, but then slow down to a fast walk when necessary, then start running/jogging again. And we did just that. We'd run a block or two, then walk. I used my heart rate monitor as my guide. Anytime my heart rate hit 170 (which happens pretty quickly when I run), we'd stop running, and then walk until I got down to about 130. Then we'd start running again. It worked out really well.

As we ran/walked, we talked about my favorite topics: men and food/activity related stuff. Lainy's 10 years younger than me, but always has good insight and always makes me laugh. I'd even forget we were doing the event until NYPD that were stationed at the corners, or the neighborhood folk who were outside, cheered us on - then I'd kick it into high gear again, at least until my heart rate got too high.

Despite being physically able to complete it, about 2/3rds through it, I do remember saying "I $%#!@ hate running!". But before I knew it, I saw the glorious Finish Line and it was over.

I didn't have that amazing sense of accomplishment like I did from the 5 Boro bike tour, since three miles by foot is really nothing to me (I walk more than that on any given day). But I was glad I did it and I really enjoyed the day, the weather and the experience. I hit the finish line at under 43 minutes, but since I didn't understand the finish line process, the statistics on their website show me over 43 minutes:

After the 5K, I treated Lainy to brunch at Greenpoint Coffee House. And then, since it was beautiful outside and I was on my bike, I told her I'd escort her home to the Upper East Side of Manhattan. So by tacking on about 20 miles of biking to my 3 miles of walking/running - that is how Elaine and I became Bi-Athletes.

Here are my heart rate monitor stats for my biathlon:

5K: 44 minutes, 40 minutes in zone, 146 average HR, 360 calories*
Bike: 66 minutes, 64 minutes in zone, 142 average HR, 510 calories**

*I turned it on and off before the start and after the finish, thus the extra minute.
**This doesn't include the biking to and from the race. This was just to ride Lainy home and back.

Clearly, biking wins. It's also easier and more fun. But I'm still going to give running a chance. I'd love to build up my stamina and endurance, so I'll continue doing some interval training on the treadmill. And now that I know the Greenpoint 5K keeps such great records, I will take it more seriously next year (no stopping for water and waiting for them to find cups! less talking and laughing, more moving!). I'm looking forward to slaughtering this year's stats. I'm even going to shoot for 38 minutes or less (shaving 5 minutes off this year's time).

Here are the photos-

View of the Starting line:

And because I'm completely predictable, here I am in the church bathroom before the start:

This is St Stan's:

I asked a bystander to get a photo of Lainy and me before the start:

Lainy warms up (hilariously):

This guy handed me his card and offered to be a boyfriend to either of us. Nice to know he's happy with whatever he gets. (Who's a lucky gal?)

Waiting to begin the run:

Running on Driggs:

Follow the yellow arrows! (Running on North 12th, turning onto Berry):

The 1 mile mark on Lorimer (by Norman):

The 2 mile mark on Manhattan Ave (by Meserole):

Not for nothing, but this really pisses me off (discarded cups on Nassau):

Running towards the Finish line:

I rode my bike the entire course later to get this shot of the painted finish line on the ground:

Power brunch @ Greenpoint Coffee House with Lainy:

The biathlon is over, back at home-

And since it's now tradition after both bike tours, showing off my souvenir t-shirt:

It was a great day and a fun experience. And I'm so glad I had my girl Lainy there with me. Thanks, Lainykins! And thank you all for your support and well wishes!

Recipe: Vegan Pumpkin Pancakes

I was having lunch in the city yesterday with Laurie Notaro (yes, The Laurie Notaro. I totally just name dropped) and I was telling her about my favorite new weekend breakfast: high fiber pumpkin pancakes! She asked if I posted the recipe online yet, which I have not, so I documented the process this morning. Not only are these pancakes delicious, but they have a ton of fiber (about 10g per serving) and the addition of pumpkin and spices makes them great for autumn! But you can leave them out for plain high fiber pancakes, or add your own ingredients - fruit or whatever. Get creative!

Ingredients:

• Bob's High Fiber Pancake & Waffle Mix, 1 cup (7 points)
• Canned Pumpkin, 1/2 of a 15 oz can (1 point)
• Oat Bran, 1/3 cup (1 point)
• Unsweetened Applesauce, 4 oz (.5 point)
• Water, 3/4 cup
• Cinnamon, Ginger, Nutmeg and Cloves, 1/4 tsp each (0 points)

Yields: 3 cups mix
Servings: 3
Points per Serving: 3

(Add all ingredients in any order, it doesn't matter)

In a mixing bowl, add 1 cup of pancake mix -

Add pumpkin (1 cup) and unsweetened applesauce (4 oz)-

Add spices and water -

Add 1/3 cup oatbran -

Stir all ingredients until they are smooth and well blended. (If you prefer thinner pancakes, add a little more water or some milk/soy milk. If you like them thick, leave them as is. It's always better to start too thick and then add liquid if necessary)

When I was done mixing the ingredients, I transferred them into this great measuring cup from the Container Store. As you can see, this batch of mixture comes out to 3 cups. Putting it in this measuring cup before cooking the mix helps because I can be aware of how much mix I use. It's built in portion control. 3 cups = 3 servings.

Since the cup also has a spout, you can pour it out easily onto your griddle -

And the best part of this measuring cup is the snap on plastic lid that keeps the mixture fresh in the fridge for a few days. I love this product!

ok, back to the recipe...

Obviously, you pour the mixture on the grill, cooking one side-

then flipping and cooking the other-

Within minutes, you have your gorgeous, hearty, healthy, delicious pancakes!

I added a tiny amount of vegan butter (1.5 tsp) and maple syrup (2 tbsp) for an additional 3 points-

Doesn't that look awesome?! It is! I love these pancakes! Enjoy :)


And if you're in Greenpoint today between 1 and 2, look for me in the 5K. I'll be running/walking with Lainykins. Not sure what I'm wearing yet, but it will involve actual sneakers and appropriate attire. Here's the course route.

Also, tomorrow I am going to "Tweet what I Eat". If you want to follow along, send a request to follow me on Twitter.

Weekly Meeting Topic: Shaking it up on WW (and links to my guest blog posts for Fred Flare)

Tonight we talked about boredom on plan and shaking things up. It's probably obvious, but boredom can be dangerous because it can lead to us slipping back to previous behavior, and we don't want to do that. Everyone in the room contributed to the conversation when the leader (who I really like) asked us what we do to prevent boredom. Here are some ideas that may help or inspire you:

Food Boredom - It can be easy to eat the same foods all the time, but eventually you may get tired of them. Fortunately, I love trying new foods and recipes, and that's an easy fix for this problem. Lately I've been experimenting with different vegan products, but have also been treating myself to different kinds of pears and apples since they're in season and there's an abundance of variety right now. I have not been disappointed with any of them yet! And I love trying new recipes - I sometimes look for them on the WW website, but find a lot of good ones in Real Simple magazine, and the NY Times website (this one sounds awesome!). I also have a great new Vegan cookbook I've been 'reading' (thank you, Sherry!) and I can't wait to try some of those recipes! (And to my Greenpoint friends, I am even considering hosting a brunch with this book! Vegan, of course. That's right, I might actually allow people in my apartment!)

Activity Boredom - If you're bored with your workout routine, don't let that be an excuse to stop working out. Find something new! As most of you know, I recently incorporated some running into my weekly workouts, as well as the Total Body Conditioning (strength training) class. I still do my other workouts because I still enjoy them - Punk Rope, pilates, cardio machines and bike riding. (Wow, I never thought I'd do that much activity in a year, let alone a week, go me!)

So if you're getting bored with your food or activity choices, it's probably time to think about what you can change to shake it up. Sometimes it's all you need to feel motivated and excited about your journey again!


And here are my weekly follow ups-

What did I accomplish this week?

• This week I tracked 4 days. Not as good as last week, and not as good as I wanted to do, but better than I was doing over the last few months. I am still working towards making this a daily habit.
• I managed to take my vitamins 6 days this week - I think that's a record for me! I'm really trying to make this a daily habit too, and I'm off to a really good start.
• I gave the chocolate section and the peanut butter section in Whole Foods the stare down last week. Not only that, but I told them they had no power over me and I was not going to fall for their delicious charms! (Fear not, I said it in my head, no one saw the crazy...) Again, instead of eating chocolate on the walk back to work, I had a delicious and refreshing seltzer, which I really look forward to now!
• I created a spreadsheet to track my activity and the associated statistics from my new heart rate monitor (I love that thing!). I burn way more calories than I realized, especially biking! I'm still collecting data but I will share it eventually.
• I finished reading The End of Overeating recently (awesome, highly recommended!) and started reading another new book, Skinny Bitch, which I LOVE. I should review them in future blogs... if I ever get around to it.
  
• A co-worker gave me a box of Boo Berry cereal (my all time favorite cereal - I even have a Boo Berry tattoo) and what struck me after the fact was that I had no emotional reaction to the gift. I realized that I am not even tempted to eat it! It's simply a box with a cute cartoon ghost and some non-food contents inside. That's amazing progress and shows how far I have come in thinking about food and what I am willing to put in my body - The artificial food ban that I began in May has been one of the most profound and surprisingly easiest rules I've implemented. I never thought I could keep a box of that in my house without wanting to eat it!

What do I want to work towards next week?

• I will track at least 5 days, but try for 7.
• As for my upcoming 5K this Sunday, I hope to complete it in 40-45 minutes.
• I want to have a day this week where I "tweet what I eat". I think it will keep me on program, the same way photographing my food for a blog does.
  

And on the topic of my Weight Watchers journey, I just want to mention that I've been guest blogging over at Fred Flare recently (because keeping up with three of my own blogs just isn't enough for me!). Here are two of my weight-related posts - It's Never too Late to Feel Great! and How a Glamour Girl Dresses for the Gym. Check them out if you can, and also check out the rest of super-cute Fred Flare. They're Bitch Cakes approved!

Have a fantastic week, everyone!

Weekly Meeting Topic: Managing Feelings without Eating

Tonight we talked about something I think everyone with a weight problem can relate to - eating because of emotions instead of hunger. Somewhere long ago, in all of our lives, we learned to use food to make us feel good. And when we are upset, sad, stressed, etc, food is often what we turn to because it's the quickest way to feel good when we are trying to avoid those feelings.

Of course we all also know from experience that the good feeling is very temporary, and is usually followed by feeling even worse - because not only will food not solve the initial problem, but it will add a new problem: ingesting food/calories we do not need, and then feeling bad about that too.

Sound familiar? I would be surprised if it didn't.

The fact is that in the long run, food is not going to help in these situations. I know we all realize that when we're not *in* the moment. Being in the moment makes it much harder for that logic to work. That's why it helps to think it through now, when you're not in the moment and can be logical and objective, and to come up with a plan. That way, the next time you identify that you are eating out of emotion, you are prepared.

We discussed some strategies for handling emotional eating. But before you can come up with plans to change your behavior, you should identify when it happens. First, think about when you've eaten out of emotion. Which emotions or situations cause you to eat? (for me, it's stress, frustration and sadness). Then question why you turn to a particular food (I turn to sweets), how it 'helps' (it's soothing and comforting), and what other non-food thing you can turn to in order to get that same sense of relief or satisfaction next time that feeling or situation arises (I like to play with my cat when I'm home, or go for a walk when I'm at work).

Lastly, remind yourself:

• If you eat, you may feel good for that brief moment; but you will feel worse later.
• To allow yourself to feel the feeling.
• Food is not going to help, and will likely create a new problem.
• Whatever you are feeling is only temporary.
• You are stronger than you think.

Feel the feelings. Don't feed them! :)

And last week I mentioned I wanted to answer the followig questions in my weekly blog post, so here goes:

What did I accomplish this week?

• My goal was to track at least 5 days, and I did just that! 5 days of tracking! Including one day when I consumed 51 points (yikes). Although I exceeded my weekly points because of it, this was a huge victory for me because previously, when I knew I was over in points, I did not track. I'm proud of myself for being accountable and recording the food. It wasn't as scary as I expected, and it felt great!
  
• A bad habit that I let myself develop recently is that when I go to Whole Foods or Target during lunch time, I buy a dark chocolate bar that's 15 points and I eat the entire thing on my walk back. The whole thing! 15 points! I only get 20 per day! This week when I went to Whole Foods, I wrestled with myself over buying that chocolate bar. Not only did I not buy it but I instead treated myself to a seltzer with lime. Zero guilt and zero points for the same price on the walk back to the office.
• I went back to face the Total Body Conditioning class that kicked my ass the week before. I made it through the class without being on the verge of tears, and I got a great workout!
• I signed up for a 5K in my neighborhood next Sunday. I'm sure I will walk the majority of it (quickly, of course) but want to do my little bit of running spurts I've been practicing on the treadmill.
• I bought a large bag of almonds and made my own 2 point baggies with it! This was an accomplishment because I've bought the big bag many times with the intention of making portion controlled baggies, but I never do. I just eat the whole bag without counting it.

What do I want to work towards next week?

• I will track at least 5 days again
• I will use my new heart rate monitor for my workouts and keep track of my stats

I can totally do that. Have a great week, everyone.

Fat Photos of me from my gothic phase in the early 90's

Ugh, these are so completely awful, I don't even know where to begin...

Ok, recently, I was looking through a box of photos. I came across an envelope titled "My Really Fat Pictures". I was afraid to look inside, but I simply had to. What I stumbled upon was me. In 1990-1991. I was 19-20 years old, very heavy (about 200 pounds), and very unhappy - which you will see in my painfully fake smile.

It was surreal to see these. Deep down, I know they are photos of me, but I feel like I am looking at another person. I think the hardest thing for me to look at (even harder than the fake smile) is my unkempt eyebrows. *shudder*

Have a look for yourself...

For the record, I did not grow out of this look for quite a while, even after losing weight. Here I am in 1994, on my 23rd birthday at my lowest adult weight ever - 140 pounds:

This is also from 1994, at Washington Square Park in NYC -

Wow. That's... embarrassing. Anyway, I promised to post those photos, so there you go.

I am really REALLY glad I am not that person anymore - mentally or physically.